It’s different for everyone, but for me, grief was like walking through the valley of a shadow of death: a place where I walked and walked with seemingly no hope — just darkness and shadows and the faintest of light.Read More
After my divorce, the future seemed very uncertain. Suddenly, there was no longer an anchor to my life — no familiar structure or plan. There were many possibilities, but it felt as if there were almost too many — I could start a new job, move to another part of the country, go back to graduate school. The possibilities were endless and overwhelming.Read More
I believe that there is a greater purpose to pain. I believe pain and suffering can be transcended -- transformed into something good. That we have a purpose in our lives, and our job is to discover that purpose, to align our lives with it. I believe that by following this energy and light, we move toward the wholeness we were made for.Read More
There is a strange clarity to madness, one in which everything is twisted around. When I was a child, my mother went through a period in which she went 'wild' according to my father, served him with divorce papers, and gave him full custody of me. For years, I wondered why. Whenever I asked her, she said it was because she loved me and knew that I would live a better life with him. Her explanation never made sense to me -- all the other children whose parents had divorced lived with their mothers, not their fathers. It seemed selfish for her to leave me with him, so that she could be free and live life childless however she wanted. It sounds like a simple thing when put into words like this, but I felt a lot of pain over the loss of her throughout my adult life. Never being a recipient of a mother's love does something to a person. There is always an emptiness, a guardedness.Read More
Some people live their lives simply going through the motions. I should know -- for many years, I was one of them. I was alive, but not truly. Although my eyes were open, they did not see. I lived life to pass time, always working toward the next thing. I was not fully present or aware.Read More
The death of love is very sad, and in many ways unnatural. We were created to love, created for our hearts to grow and expand. When love dies, it is as if you must learn how to walk all over again. Eventually, you do learn, but it is always with a limp. Along the way, people will help you walk with this limp, and some may even teach you how to dance with it.
The people who stop along the way to help you along will move you with their grace and compassion. They will teach you to love again, how to see yourself and life itself with new eyes. Eventually, you see that the love never died, but has only shifted, grown into something new. Something you never imagined. Something good.
To be human is to love. It's okay to yearn and to long for wholeness--that's how we were created. Because the truth is that love never dies and it always wins.
Happy Thanksgiving week everyone! There is something about loss which causes you to step back and take a difficult look at your life. You can come away from this process bitter and hardened. Or you can come through it awakening to a deeper sense of gratitude and love.Read More
You and everyone you know are going to be dead soon. And in the short amount of time between here and there, you have a limited amount of f*cks to give. Very few, in fact. And if you go around giving a f*ck about everything and everyone without conscious thought or choice—well, then you’re going to get f*cked.
― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
While I was grieving the loss of a loved one over this past year, a friend sent me this quote, which gave me a lot of comfort. It comes from a Reddit thread, in which a kind man gives a young woman some advice on grief and loss. Although it is well known on Reddit, I don't think it is well known outside of it, so I thought I'd post it here.Read More
When I experienced loss this past year, I found a lot of comfort in quotes. Just knowing that other people had been where I was currently standing and had somehow made it through, gave me a lot of hope. Here are some of the quotes that I found most helpful.Read More