For most of my life, I believed the soul to be a hypothetical abstraction. It was something religious people believed in, something separate and nothing to do with me.
But after experiencing loss and going through a time of grief, I know the soul to be a reality. When something such as grief comes along, and strips away all aspects of who you are and everything you think life is about, all that can possibly remain is your soul.
Read MoreThis is going to sound strange, but sometimes it helps to think of my past life and my past self as dead. They are no more. I am not the same person. I am now living a different life. For me to think of my past self still alive today with the unimaginable having occurred is too much to process some days. For me to be here now and to walk around the corner and to almost expect things as they once were is too painful.
Read MoreGrief awakens you to pain but it also awakens you to your spirit. Life was never about your deadlines or work stress, or what this or that person said, or what this neighbor or friend had and what you didn’t, or anything it seemed at the face of it. It all seemed so important at the time, and yet all along life was about something else all along, something so much deeper. We know this because there is no amount of money or objects or status or security that can bring back the person you love, nothing that can turn back time. While life may have felt empty or meaningless at times, the truth is that it never was — every moment of your life with the person you lost was filled with meaning, filled with a purpose for you to know that life is all about love.
Read MoreSometimes you love who you love and there is no stopping it. Neither time nor space, nor life or death can change it. This is the nature of love — it never stops believing, never stops hoping.
Read MoreThere were many times when I wanted to give up. The pain was too great and immense. Loss is not just in the immediacy of it, but in all the reverberating ways in which it affects you and your life. In many ways, you must learn how to live again, how to breathe again. I am here to say that it can be done.
Read MoreOur loved ones never leave us. They are always with us. The energy, attention, love, and care which they put into us can never be replaced — it added to our light and is always there. It is just now in a different form.
Read MoreThere is sadness in life and then there are sorrows — some sorrows for which there are no words. Sometimes it almost seems as if it is easier to think of yourself as dead and now living in an alternate universe — only then does it feel that the events of your life make sense, only then does the unimaginable become imaginable. How else could life continue on like this?
Read MoreIt has been four years since I went through a time of loss, four years since everything I knew and loved disappeared from my life. It is difficult to describe that kind of loss and the grief that comes with it. There is sadness. There is guilt. There is shame. Hopelessness. Discouragement. Emptiness. Futility. Fear, and above all, darkness — the type where death felt as if it would be the only reprieve. Some days, I would stand outside and watch leaves rustle in the wind and feel the beauty and pain of life all at once — how ephemeral life is and how blind we can be to its sweetness.
Read MoreThe quote in this post was originally posted by user GSnow on Reddit in a thread in which a woman asked for advice on how to cope with the recent death of her best friend. It’s one of the best descriptions of grief that I’ve ever read. When I connected with GSnow, he said that he’s been contacted over the years by so many people who have been touched by his response — people have asked to feature it on TV and t-shirts and everything, which was a surprise to him, as he was simply posting from his experience and heart. I’ve posted it here in case you find it helpful in your own experience and journey with grief.
Read MoreTo every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3: 1).
Sometimes we may feel discouraged, and feel as if life as we have known it is over. What lies ahead? We live in fear that our best days are behind us, that we have failed and made mistakes, that there is nothing to be done now, nothing that can turn back time and get us back to a place of what once was. In our darkest of moments, we wonder if there was a point to any of this suffering. What is life if it involves pain and grief like this? Life feels empty and meaningless. We feel like giving up.
Read MoreIt has been 3 years since my initial experience with grief and loss and though many people told me that time would heal, it didn’t make each day easier. Although time heals, it takes a commitment to wake up each day and to make it through to the next day even when your mind, body, and spirit are crushed. At some point this process of living in the face of grief becomes easier, and you find yourself feeling joy and contentment again, even with the pain that is there. It’s like learning how to walk all over again, but this time with a broken leg.
Read MoreYou are loved. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You’re not perfect, but you’re not your mistakes. Perhaps you’ve made them. Big ones. But that’s okay. We all do. Forgive yourself and use it as the soil for growth, for compassion for yourself and compassion for others when they make mistakes.
Read MoreI read somewhere that sometimes life involves two mountains. The first mountain is the one you start off in life climbing. You ascend it, thinking that this is what life is about — your career, money, stability, achievement, making your parents proud, worthiness, etc.
Read MoreKnow this — you are loved. You are worthy and beautiful in every way. You don’t have to be anyone other than who you are. You’ve made mistakes, just as we all have. You’ve said things you wish you could take back. You’re not perfect. But you’re none of these mistakes.
Read MoreThere is a light inside you. Let it grow and shine. Sometimes it’s long forgotten. We haven’t connected with it given the busyness of our days. Other times, we have allowed the world to tell us that it is not there and never was.
Read MoreIt’s strange how time passes — how after the unthinkable occurs, life goes on. The sun rises and falls. Flowers bloom. Trees rustle in the wind. There is an eeriness to it and in the beginning it is tempting to stay lost in this space.
Read MoreThere is a light within you. No darkness can overcome it. Sometimes this light is loud and vibrant. Other times such as in places of grief and loss, it is quiet — silent almost. A thread.
Read MoreIt’s different for everyone, but for me, grief was like walking through the valley of a shadow of death: a place where I walked and walked with seemingly no hope — just darkness and shadows and the faintest of light.
Read More
Sometimes I close my eyes, and I’m there again, in the apartment we once shared. The room is small, with wood floors, a white couch, and books neatly arranged along the shelves. The air is still. It’s just me there, and I can feel the beat of my heart, hear the sound of my breath.
It’s times like these that I realize that grief never really ends. For me, grief has been like a tide, ebbing and flowing — sometimes with greater and lesser frequency, but always there, always returning.
In these moments, I remind myself that it’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to feel sad and to remember the things that once were. Grief is a sign of love. And at the end of it all, what are we meant to do in this life if but to love, to grow in it and in spirit?
In moments like this, I’m also reminded that some bonds are hard to break, even across time and space. Loved ones are with us in different ways. Sometimes this fact can be painful as we consider our loss, but on the other side of this emotion, perhaps there is also a comfort that we still remember, that we still love.
If you enjoyed this post, you might also find my book, Grieving the Loss of a Love: How to Embrace Grief to Find True Hope and Healing After a Divorce, Breakup, or Death helpful.
This is going to sound strange, but sometimes it helps to think of my past life and my past self as dead. They are no more. I am not the same person. I am now living a different life. For me to think of my past self still alive today with the unimaginable having occurred is too much to process some days. For me to be here now and to walk around the corner and to almost expect things as they once were is too painful.
Grief awakens you to pain but it also awakens you to your spirit. Life was never about your deadlines or work stress, or what this or that person said, or what this neighbor or friend had and what you didn’t, or anything it seemed at the face of it. It all seemed so important at the time, and yet all along life was about something else all along, something so much deeper. We know this because there is no amount of money or objects or status or security that can bring back the person you love, nothing that can turn back time. While life may have felt empty or meaningless at times, the truth is that it never was — every moment of your life with the person you lost was filled with meaning, filled with a purpose for you to know that life is all about love.
Sometimes you love who you love and there is no stopping it. Neither time nor space, nor life or death can change it. This is the nature of love — it never stops believing, never stops hoping.
There were many times when I wanted to give up. The pain was too great and immense. Loss is not just in the immediacy of it, but in all the reverberating ways in which it affects you and your life. In many ways, you must learn how to live again, how to breathe again. I am here to say that it can be done.
Our loved ones never leave us. They are always with us. The energy, attention, love, and care which they put into us can never be replaced — it added to our light and is always there. It is just now in a different form.
There is sadness in life and then there are sorrows — some sorrows for which there are no words. Sometimes it almost seems as if it is easier to think of yourself as dead and now living in an alternate universe — only then does it feel that the events of your life make sense, only then does the unimaginable become imaginable. How else could life continue on like this?
It has been four years since I went through a time of loss, four years since everything I knew and loved disappeared from my life. It is difficult to describe that kind of loss and the grief that comes with it. There is sadness. There is guilt. There is shame. Hopelessness. Discouragement. Emptiness. Futility. Fear, and above all, darkness — the type where death felt as if it would be the only reprieve. Some days, I would stand outside and watch leaves rustle in the wind and feel the beauty and pain of life all at once — how ephemeral life is and how blind we can be to its sweetness.
The quote in this post was originally posted by user GSnow on Reddit in a thread in which a woman asked for advice on how to cope with the recent death of her best friend. It’s one of the best descriptions of grief that I’ve ever read. When I connected with GSnow, he said that he’s been contacted over the years by so many people who have been touched by his response — people have asked to feature it on TV and t-shirts and everything, which was a surprise to him, as he was simply posting from his experience and heart. I’ve posted it here in case you find it helpful in your own experience and journey with grief.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3: 1).
Sometimes we may feel discouraged, and feel as if life as we have known it is over. What lies ahead? We live in fear that our best days are behind us, that we have failed and made mistakes, that there is nothing to be done now, nothing that can turn back time and get us back to a place of what once was. In our darkest of moments, we wonder if there was a point to any of this suffering. What is life if it involves pain and grief like this? Life feels empty and meaningless. We feel like giving up.
I never thought much of dreams until last year when I had one with Brian in it.
It had been a year since I had last seen him. And though he had since remarried and moved on with his life, it didn’t change the fact that he had been such a large part of mine. The loss was hard on me. I felt it each day.
Read MoreAuthor. Researcher. Psychologist.
Dr. Eleora Han is a writer and psychologist. This blog is about her journey with grief. It's also learning to live with grief, and finding meaning and purpose in the face of pain. It's about finding hope.
The site is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.Always seek the advice of your qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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For most of my life, I believed the soul to be a hypothetical abstraction. It was something religious people believed in, something separate and nothing to do with me.
But after experiencing loss and going through a time of grief, I know the soul to be a reality. When something such as grief comes along, and strips away all aspects of who you are and everything you think life is about, all that can possibly remain is your soul.